Update and Observation

Sorry! I've been meaning to update for many weeks now, but many events occurred which interfered. I promise I'll do so shortly! I'm still alive, I promise!

As an aside, I had to throw up this thought:

I just had to update the bank account security questions for an account I've had since 2006. In those five years, many things have stayed the same (my grandmother's maiden name, social security number, school I've attended, where I was born, and my favorite sports team), but some things have certainly changed:

- My favorite movie. I still like this movie, but no longer to the point where I would watch it in my dorm room every week.

- I no longer say, "Your Mom's Face!" Because, well, I'm no longer 21.

- Dirty hippies still need to get a job, but I don't quite feel as strongly about it.

- I haven't read my favorite book in quite some time. Nor do I think everyone is a "phony". Unless of course, I have become one.

Hirrarious!

Remember when you saw those Old Spice Guy commercials? How hard you laughed?

Well these are even better. And the Kiwi accent makes it that much better.

Like when peanut butter found jelly

So I recently discovered Akiva Schaffer (of Lonely Island fame, seeh: here, here, and new fave here) directed a bunch of videos for one of my favorite bands, We Are Scientists:







Awes.

Even Egyptian Protesters like Memes

Somehow, I think this steals from the gravitas of your cause.

I have an overwhelming fear that in the future, everyone will communicate via a series of memes, catchphrases, and 'Netspeak'.

Did they have a "mediocre white QBs sale" at Sports Authority?

In case you can't see, it's three bros leaving the bar in, respectively, Matt Ryan, Tim Tebow, and Matthew Stafford jerseys.

How To Be A Degenerate

Hi Kids! Every once in a while, Your Kindly Online Uncle here likes to give you unsolicited advice on life. For today, we get to learn about how to be a degenerate and a burden upon respectable society! So gather 'round and listen to this simple 10 step program to get you on the way to being a wino! Because someday, you might need to!

Step 1: Leave work at 10AM on Monday morning to go watch the Super Bowl. Bonus: run into co-worker, tell him (primary on-caller) that you are going to the game, and to escalate any issues to you (secondary) if needed.

Step 2: Watch game at sports bar with fellow degenerates.

Step 3: Drink copious amounts of beer.

Step 4: Eat a healthy brunch of wings, fried calamari, and fries.

Step 5: More beer. Bonus: Get drunk.

Step 6: Stumble back into the office at 2:30PM. Lie about where you have been.

Step 7: Eat a meal of potato chips and beef jerky because you missed lunch.

Step 8: Make and drink a cappuccino (badly) to mask the smell of alcohol.

Step 9: Render all your efforts moot by posting to blog.

Step 10: Realize there are still six more hours of daylight left, making your hangover that much worse.

Sydney

I hear you, Brother. But you should see Sydney.

Sometimes I feel like everyone I see in this city is in a contest to see who can dress the sluttiest/trashiest/douchiest.