Hi Kids! Every once in a while, Your Kindly Online Uncle here likes to give you unsolicited advice on life. For today, we get to learn about how to be a degenerate and a burden upon respectable society! So gather 'round and listen to this simple 10 step program to get you on the way to being a wino! Because someday, you might need to!
Step 1: Leave work at 10AM on Monday morning to go watch the Super Bowl. Bonus: run into co-worker, tell him (primary on-caller) that you are going to the game, and to escalate any issues to you (secondary) if needed.
Step 2: Watch game at sports bar with fellow degenerates.
Step 3: Drink copious amounts of beer.
Step 4: Eat a healthy brunch of wings, fried calamari, and fries.
Step 5: More beer. Bonus: Get drunk.
Step 6: Stumble back into the office at 2:30PM. Lie about where you have been.
Step 7: Eat a meal of potato chips and beef jerky because you missed lunch.
Step 8: Make and drink a cappuccino (badly) to mask the smell of alcohol.
Step 9: Render all your efforts moot by posting to blog.
Step 10: Realize there are still six more hours of daylight left, making your hangover that much worse.
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